Hard Case Page 13

  My sensations and perceptions were becoming much more organized now, but my world had not yet entirely congealed. Blotches of light and shadow still floated around me. I couldn't be entirely sure what they belonged to. Strange smells hit me without warning. Some were pleasant, some not so. One of the very pleasant smells was coming from her. Every once in awhile, however, I caught a less pleasant odor, also from her. It wasn't a bad smell, but it made me uncomfortable. It was fleeting, but I didn't like it. It made me not want to trust her. But it was fleeting. Most of the time the pleasant smell made me want to lose myself in her.

  She touched me.

  I noticed that when she touched me, I relaxed a little. Instinct became less sharp, I became less agitated. It was like soft white fog would settle in the room, except it was a feeling, not anything I saw. She sensed my fear of the door and leaned in close to me.

  "We have to go through that door. Can you understand what I'm saying?” Her eyes met mine, wet and deep. I could see my face in them. I had no idea who that was staring back at me. "My name is Rox. You have to trust me."

  Rox.

  Something stirred but I had no translation for what it was.

  "There is nothing on the other side of that door that can hurt us.” I stared into her eyes more. I wanted to run. I wanted to stay with her. “I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  Rox.

  "I am going to do something. Don't be startled. I am going to touch my lips to yours. It will soothe you and give you strength to go through the door with me."

  I stared at her. I had little understanding of what she was describing so I lost myself in the smell. She pulled closer and her lips closed over mine. I was startled for just a moment. Her lips moistened mine, then parted slightly and breath came softly between her lips. I felt intense sorrow, I didn't know why. My world had structure but it still made no sense to me.

  Rox.

  Something washed over my senses. My instincts were dulled, I actually felt more agitated over this feeling, but for the moment, my body refused to do anything about it. It was something she had done to me.

  She coaxed me over towards the door. The blanket over my senses kept me from reacting.

  "Do I have a name?"

  "No, of course you don't; you have just been born."

  I could sense a quick hit of that unpleasant smell, but I still had no clear idea of why it was there. It was something about her. It made me more fearful again.

  The door opened. There was a flood of brighter light that hurt my eyes. I squinted my eyes for a moment, but I didn't back up. My eyes slowly adjusted. We walked out into a much larger hallway, well lit and open. At first I ducked down, a natural response to a larger open area. Despite no experience I could call upon, I sensed that larger open areas left you more vulnerable, less hidden. I could feel the strength coursing through me, I knew I could fight if a threat presented itself, but there was a deeper survival instinct to avoid doing so if possible.

  I looked around the hallway, first one direction then the other. In one direction, after running straight for quite a distance, the hallway ended with a crossing hallway that ran in both directions perpendicular. In the other direction, after another long distance, there was a door. I felt safer with the T-junction. I could hear and smell things before I got to the junction. There wouldn't be as much chance for surprise. From what I could see, there were no threats. I stayed still and listened for several long moments. I started moving towards the hall juncture.

  My companion put her hand on my shoulder. I turned. "No, we must go this other way."

  That smell again. Rox.

  I had looked in all directions to see that there was no threat. I had not looked up.

  "Rox?"

  My head snapped up, my whole body became aroused. The danger I sensed was palpable. In the rafters was a small woman in black, her hair pulled back. She carried a short wooden staff, with another on her back. She was poised in perfect balance. There was nothing tense or tight in that body but she was clearly ready to respond to threat in the moment. Unlike my companion, there was nothing soft or comforting about her, but her eyes, also unlike my companion, were alert and full of life.

  I bellowed, roaring my challenge. It was instinct again. The woman poised in the rafters did not react, which was disconcerting.

  Rox threw her arms around me, forcing me to calm down again.

  "Kyo! How did you get in here?”

  On the one hand, Rox was trying to calm me down. On the other hand, I sensed that she was becoming uncharacteristically agitated. Her voice was friendly, though. Was this new person a threat or not? As I looked at this new woman, something stirred in me. She actually did give me a sense of comfort, without the uneasy feelings.

  The one called Kyo dropped to the floor, landing in perfect balance. There was no sound when she landed. I crouched, expecting an attack, but she became still again. She didn’t say much and she never moved unnecessarily. She studied my face. I held her look in case what she was doing was aggressive, but it didn’t feel that way so I just held my ground.

  "It's still hard to tell if it’s him. The face hasn't fully formed yet, but it looks like he may end up with the same features. We've never been able to follow a proto before, so we've never known."

  Same features?

  "Unfortunately, he will never be the same inside. He has no identity, no memory,” Rox answered.

  Kyo stepped over to me. "You don't remember anything that happened before?“ She pointed to my companion. “Do you remember Rox?"

  I looked at Rox. Something stirred, but was it memory?

  "I think even attempting to remember will only frustrate him.” Rox pulled me close again. “Until things in the new personality solidify, I think we need to keep him calm."

  More stirred inside me. But I was starting to remember. Pain and screaming. That was my birth. No. There was something before.

  Rox put her hand on my brow. “We need to find a way to escape from here without too much attention. That's why I am keeping him calm. Your being here helps. Stay with him while I go check that the back way is clear."

  I sensed agitation coming from the one called Rox. And that odor. It was strong now.

  "You want me to stay with Quentin?"

  Quentin. There was something important in those sounds. I could sense it, I almost had a picture, and then it was gone.

  "Yes, I know Rockvale much better than you do.”

  “You'll have to come all the way back to get us. I think we should stick together."

  Rox.

  Quentin.

  "Please trust me on this, Kyo. I thought I had lost him. I can't take a chance on it happening again."

  The odor was strong, sickening. Kyo tensed just a bit. Suddenly I knew what the odor was. How I don't exactly know. I couldn't even quite articulate it to myself. In that same moment I caught sight of the short staff on Kyo's back. It had a barely visible line around it, three quarters of the way up the shaft. Again, I couldn't articulate why, but in a single fast motion, I held the staff in my hands. Kyo was startled and shifted her balance defensively. I just stood there, running my eyes up and down the shaft.

  "Quentin is remembering,” Kyo said, almost as if to herself.

  "Remembering what? And don't call him Quentin. Quentin is gone. This one is another."

  "No, Quentin is remembering what was for him a symbol of hope."

  Rox became agitated. She reached and put her hand on one end of the staff. She grabbed it to pull it out of my hand. She pulled away only three quarters of the wooden staff that was sheathing a hand-forged metal blade. There was something special about it being metal, I couldn't remember what. It was shiny, polished. I could see Rox's eyes reflected in the silver of the blade. They were wide with fear.

  "What is that? Put it down."

  Kyo's posture betrayed that she wasn't sure what was going on here, but her voice was calm. "Rox, relax, it's a blade made with a new process I discovered. I
showed it to Quentin once. He is remembering some strong connection he made to it."

  "But he can't... remember, I mean."

  "I am Quentin... Case."

  I was still watching Rox's eyes in the blade. I didn’t look at her face, only her eyes. They were dark. They were evil. I didn’t know how I knew. I didn’t care. Even the comfort I felt was evil. It was a lie. I kept staring at the eyes.

  "I don't remember everything."

  My movement was quick and precise. Even Kyo, whom I sensed had an eye for such things, failed to understand what had happened until it was over. I had turned in front of Rox. Blood covered my face and hand. One arm, blade in hand, was extended out. Rox’s throat was slashed. She had a look of shock. She was trying to speak, but her powers of speech were gone.

  "Quentin!” Kyo had her own blade drawn, but she was not attacking yet. Good thing, I was preoccupied. I was still operating at a pretty instinctual level.

  Memories flooded in. They still didn't make much sense to me. I could never have strung them into a narrative. But I knew they were my memories. I knew I had loved Rox. And I knew she had betrayed me and the others I loved in the worst way. I knew she was lying, that had she gone, she would have brought the enemy down on us.

  Rox tried to speak, but there was no sound, only a pleading expression, as if I could undo what I had done. I remembered some things, but mostly there were just feelings and sensory impressions. I realized that odor I kept detecting was one of them. Behind the alluring exterior and sweetness was something darker, something that lied to me even now. I was deeply sad and lost. I pushed her back and she fell to the floor.

  I knew I had done the right thing, but I didn't entirely remember why or how I knew that. I watched her blood pool around her and I realized she was human once. Not a demon. Just evil.

  Kyo came over. She was calm. There was no urgency, no judgment. She looked at me, deeply, the kind of look that nothing could hide from.

  "She was our enemy. You'll have to trust me until I remember more."

  Kyo nodded and sheathed her blade, hefting the staff in her hand. "How much do you remember?"

  "Not much. It is more like I sense things."

  "What about me?"

  I looked at Kyo. It took me a moment to understand the question. I sniffed the air and held her gaze. "You are a friend."

  "I'm thankful for that. I have lots of questions, but we don't have time for that now. We need to get out of here."

  I stood watching the life leave Rox’s eyes and her body go limp. She was evil. I loved her. I felt like the life was leaving me.

  "Quentin!” Kyo grabbed me. I snapped towards her, the aggression rising up again. Her stance was strong, which made me hesitate, but the aggression brought with it focus. "We have to go now! Before she rises as a proto herself."

  I was incapable of fully comprehending what that meant, but I trusted this woman warrior.

  "Can you follow orders?"

  I nodded. "I will do my best. I have fearful instincts that can take over, but I am mastering them."

  "That will have to do. Follow me. Try to do everything I tell you."

  We ran towards the door at the end of the hall.

  16.

  It took me a full two days to recover, though some of Saripha's poultices, bitter brews and just plain magic were required to facilitate it to happen so fast. Nonetheless there was a mixture of surprise and awe that I had accomplished this. I had full memory and my old identity. Even my whole body remembered as I regained the same glamour I had before. Kyo led me out of Rockvale with little incident. Clearly, no one had expected a problem. Rox was to calm me, her special powers, and lead me back like a pet. I would have been "domesticated" and made to serve them, willingly, because I wouldn't know better.

  The question was, why didn't it go that way? How was I able to "retrieve" my personality from the chaos of being reborn as a proto?

  "Because he's so damn stubborn,” Paul, the eternal pragmatist offered. He could be right, but Saripha was convinced that this is part of what was different about me, what changed when I was crossing over, why the demons feared me.

  We were camped out up in the mountains where the demons didn't like to go. We didn't know if Rox had told them about the tower, or if she had been saving that for her own evil little project. Luckily, I hadn't told her about our excursion to Kyo's "weapons factory" nor Saripha's mortal status. Still, we couldn't gamble on going to Kyo's caves because we had seen demon activity there. We were buying time, but there wasn't much to buy. We had to come up with a plan, but they had a lot more options to plan with.

  No one acted as if they blamed me for not seeing through Rox's deception. None of them had either. I couldn't be as forgiving; I had put us all at great risk. I had brought the whole group to being a focus of attention, a focus held by a raging psychopath in a world that gave him free rein and rewarded his most vile actions.

  I was sitting under a tree, throwing stones impatiently at a rock outcropping. It helped keep me calm enough to think. I wanted to just walk into town, kill demons and find Janovic and tear his head off. Unfortunately, it wasn't a plan—it was a fantasy. My impossible task was coming up with a way that would allow us to accomplish that. That's where I was stuck. I needed numbers. Unfortunately, it was clear to me there was no longer a way to light a spark under the humans of the border town to rise up and work with us. They didn't need to become protos to lose their personality. They were dead souls in the truest sense.

  Izzy came up and plopped himself down next to me. His tee-shirt pictured a Borg cube with “Resistance is Futile” printed on it. He watched me for a moment. Finally he said, "Maybe we should just keep moving. We're outlaws already."

  "Do they have trains we can rob?"

  "No, but Kyo says there is a large ocean. Maybe we could become pirates."

  "With my luck, this world is flat and we'll sail over a cliff just past the 'Here be Monsters' sign."

  "Sounds like an adventure.” Izzy smiled, but it was strained.

  We sat quietly. I tossed a few more pebbles against the rock outcropping.

  "Do you think there is a Satan in this place?"

  Izzy looked at me quizzically. “Saripha thinks there is.”

  "I guess I'm curious. I want to know if there is really some power behind this place or if this place is just anarchy and cruelty."

  "Why would it make a difference? Either way, we're pretty outclassed."

  "Yeah, but if it's a pyramid rather than random chaos, then there is someone's ass I can kick for putting me through this."

  Izzy looked at me again. The smile was more genuine this time. "Nice to know you're thinking ahead."

  "It beats thinking about right now."

  "There is that.” Izzy waited. "So why not move on?"

  "I wouldn't blame any of you if you did. To me, there is no point. Overall, some places in this—world, dimension, whatever it is—might be better and some might be worse, but my guess is it's all horrible. At least I know something about this place. Also, I can't leave Janovic. I need some way to get to him."

  "Because of Rox?"

  "No. I have no doubt that she embraced her mission. I need to find some way to stop him because he has attached himself to me and he is dangerous. He will keep coming after me and anyone else I am with."

  "So is that your goal?” Getting your super?"

  "Didn't you hate your super?"

  "I didn't have one. Banks actually give physics professors mortgages."

  "Wow. Talk about your risky ventures."

  "Shhhh. Don't tell them. I'm sure there must be bankers in this place."

  I let thoughts roll in my head as I tossed a couple of more stones.

  "I do want to find a way to stop Janovic. That will probably only result in his being turned into a proto and maybe being a psychopath is the prerequisite for retaining your personality. Still, maybe he'll lose his powers."

  Izzy nodded. "That sounds like a 'woul
d like to do,' not your goal."

  "It might be doable. I'm not sure my goal is."

  Izzy looked at me again, like my face were tea leaves to be read. "You want to free the humans of Rockvale. That's going to require killing a lot of demons."

  "Yes. That's why I had hoped they were a fomenting rebellion, waiting for a leader. Unfortunately, there is nothing fomenting in there. They have been emptied of any passion."

  "Too bad this is a small outpost. Not that many people arrive at this border town. If there was more new traffic, we might be able to intercept new arrivals and influence them."

  "Do we age in this place?"

  "Your body is a glamour and you are stuck here forever, so, no, I haven't seen any signs we age. Why?"

  "Because I figure it would take a couple of centuries to get the numbers we need."

  Izzy said, "That's why I said 'too bad.'"

  We were quiet again. I threw small rocks. I thought.

  "Without numbers, we'd at least need some heavy artillery, like that arrow Gatling gun thing Taka developed. Of course, I don’t even know if we can get to the caves to get it or how we transport it undetected."

  Izzy hesitated. "Well, actually..."

  "What?"

  "We didn't know what we were going to do to get you out of the town. We though a full assault would be a bad idea, but just in case...” Izzy hesitated.

  "What!”

  "The gun and arrow belts are positioned in the hills over Rockvale, camouflaged with brush. If they haven't found it, it is in position."

  Thoughts that floated through my head randomly suddenly formed a pattern, like a gestalt.

  "You have a plan.” Apparently Izzy saw it in my face.

  "You aren't going to like it."

  Izzy, Kyo, Saripha, and I sat on the ground. Paul sat on a rock, but was part of the immediate circle. Zeon and Sidney sat some ways away, as they did most of the time. It often appeared as if they were tuned out, not paying attention, but I knew that wasn't true.